Friday, July 27, 2012

kasih ibu hingga ke akhir hayat.. Al-Fatihah

Assalam...

lama btol rasanya xupdate blog ni.. not much has happened during those times but... the biggest 'dugaan' dariMu untuk kami sekeluarga Ya Allah.. pemergian ibu tercinta, Hjh Siti Aminah bt Jamaludin..
~

its really really hard to not go teary eyed while writing this entry.. ive been trying to build up my strength these past few weeks.. dunno if im strong enuff but here it goes..

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tanggal 24 Jun 2012 pada jam 5.32 petang, mak telah di'annouce meninggal dunia di wad neuro sains 5UB, PPUM after almost 20mins doc tried to revive her...i, (as my other family members that day) can still remember as clear as glass the face of Dr. Yang coming out of mak's room to tell the bad news... his devastated look was all it took for us to know wht he was abt to say...
~

lets start from the beginning, (kalo sudi bacalah... kalo rasa panjang sgt xnk baca pun xpe... just writing wht i remember so if one day i do forget i can come back here and recall)

minggu2 akhir mei, mak started to show symptoms of minor stroke.. the right side of her body wud not function.. tapi muka mak xsenget, cuma mak xbercakap.. its like she's trying but it just wudnt come out.. arwah mak ni was on dialysis 3 times a week at UMSC... sblm2 ni everytime kitorg cdgkan nk bw mak ke hospital she wud cry, not wanting to go.. but as things got worse, on the 1st of june, abah (with angah n alang) took mak to PPUM after dialysis.. Syukur Alhamdulillah she did not rebel.. abah headed for the trauma and emergency unit where mak had her catscan... doctors found sumthing on her left side brain.. that shocked all of us sebab mak x pernah mengadu sakit kepala sblm ni.. so after that mak had to be warded.. tp mak had to stay kt ward kecemasan 1 mlm sbb ward 6 xcukup staf nk amik mak.. bole pulak gitu kan..

~

so to cut things short a bit, on the 7th of june, mak had an MRI which showed her left side brain had abscess (nanah).. that was why the right side of her body was very weak and the location of the abscess affected her speach centre.. so on the 8th of june, mak went into surgery.. from 9am til 6pm.. hanya Allah sahaja yg tau betapa susahnya kami nk tgk mak masuk OT knowing theres always a 50-50 chance when it comes to brain surgery.. after surgery mak dimasukkan ke wad neuro icu utk pemantauan.. aku berani kata yg arwah mak adalah seorg fighter.. she's a very strong lady.. memandangkan wad ICU xbole org jaga so we all went back home and came back to PPUM bright n early the nxt day..

day aftr the operation, arwah mak was showing good progress.. kaki kanan dh bole gerak2 n she started to speak! syukur Alhamdulillah.. selera makan pun bertambah baik so a few days aftr observation arwah mak dpt naik ward 6.. however, the 2nd day at ward 6, arwah mak was showing signs of relapse.. she didnt want to eat or take her meds.. she was acting out n got mad easily.. and she kept trying to pull out the stitches..

so for follow up observations, arwah mak turun balik to neuro ICU.. thats when everything went downhill... bcoz mak refused to eat she had to have a tube inserted thro her nose for milk.. for a few days she cud still talk, but sumtimes she wud say things that were unclear.. sort of blabbering things.. for instance, once she told me to get ready utk 'berperang dgn org tu'.. it gave me a bit of a creep but i just went a long with it..

~
21st june - mak was supposed to go for PICC surgery (mcm masukkan tiub kt dlm lengan kanan utk mudah masukkan ubat).. however memandangkan tangan arwah mak sgt bengkak disebabkan kemasukan ubat dan drip, the surgery was cancelled.. later that afternoon, alang n i dh siap tunggu arwah mak kt ward 8 for dialysis memandangkan nurses bgtau earlier yg diorg nk siapkan arwah mak for dialysis.. around 2ish (kalo xsilap) i got a call from ward 5 saying that breathing and blood pressure arwah mak were unstable and that they had to put her on temporary life support.. luruh jantung Ya Allah.. so we headed back to ward 5 and when we got there, i cudn't help but get teary eyed.. bayangkanla tube besar masuk melalui mulut.. memandangkan tiub tu besar & arwah mak xbiasa ada tiub, she kept on gagging... kesian sgt kitorg tgk..

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23rd june - arwah mak went for dialysis.. tp kali ni cara cuci air memandangkan fistula mak dh rosak abis.. sampai je kt ward 8 aku tgk kepala arwah mak dh botak abis.. mungkin nurses rasa arwah mak lebih selesa begitu memandangkan sudah lama rambutnya tidak bercuci.. aku terpandang tangan kanan arwah mak... Astaghfirullahalazim... tangannya sgt2 merening.. as if kalo tercucuk skit it wud burst.. i cried just looking at it... tp x nangis dpn dia.. that night felt sooooo long... adik2 abah pun dtg memandangkan keadaan dia masa tu sdh kritikal.. however, ada masa2 tertentu dia akan bg reaksi.. bila dgr suara abah panggil nama dia, dia akan buka mata cari abah.. tp pandangan sekadar pandangan kosong.. bila maklang (adik abah) kata nak balik, dia akan buat muka mencebik dan air mata akan keluar..  after dialysis kitorg suma tgu kt ruang menunggu dpn ward 5.. kitorg baca Yaasin ramai2.. until maklang kluar dr ward 5 dan meluru peluk abah.. kitorg suma dh suspen but maklang kata that 'she was peaking up' which means she was fighting to stay alive.. tapi heartrate arwah mak still sgt tinggi... 130-140 beats per min.. tp bila tau she was peaking up rasa syukur.. kitorg stay smpai kena halau dgn pekerja hosp..

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24th june - malam 23hb tu aku, alang n maklang tido kt lantai PPUM.. yg lain stay kt subang.. so around 8.30am tukar shift.. along n angah pulak dtg n we all pulak balik rehat.. around 3 sumthing kitorg pun smpai balik PPUM.. around 4ish, aku n alang masuk tgk arwah mak.. sblm tu angah bgtau nurses tgh siapkan arwah mak utk dialysis so diorg diminta keluar.. tp aku n alang curi2 masuk.. smpai dpn bilik tgk arwah mak just lying there so tny nurse (masa tu yg jaga arwah mak nurse lelaki).. nurse tu kata blood pressure arwah mak x stabil so kena tgu dulu.. so sementara tu aku n alang pun 'borak2' dgn arwah mak.. at the same time aku pun urut2 kaki arwah mak sbb tgk dh pucat n purpleish... aku urut smpai ada kaler balik kaki dia.. aku ingat lg, kitorg bgtau arwah mak yg dia dapat hadiah lucky draw.. (tghari tu, UMSC buat family day, abah pergi dgn cucu sorang, arwah dapat lucky draw).. kitorg bgtau arwah mak agar cpt sembuh so bole buka hadiah tu nnt... hmmm... tgh syok2 'borak' tu aku prasan kt monitor bhgn heart rate tu mcm ada blinking.. aku tny nurse.. nurse minta kitorg kuar jap sbb nk check (FYI, blinking tu dh a few times jd sblm tu so we weren't that worried eventho heartrate mak stayed at 130).. bila dh kena kuar tu kitorg kuar kt tpt lif (port anak2 buah lepak sbb diorg xleh masuk).. along n angah tgu kt waiting area belah dalam... aku n alang tgh makan when angah tiba2 dtg kata Dr. Yang nk jmpe.. we headed for the sliding door (masa tu along n angah dh masuk, kitorg tpaksa ketuk2 pintu minta org dlm bukakan pintu).. tgk muka angah dh lain.. tnya along, dia kata Dr. Yang ckp mak punya heart suddenly stopped but they are trying to revive her.. masa tu aku rasa jantung aku yg nk stop.. we had to call abah as he was downstairs buying drinks.. alas, abah smpai and kitorg suma tgu kt walkway (nurses xbg dkt sgt ngan bilik)... nurses kuar masuk, wht was 20mins felt like eternity.. but when Dr.Yang came out and gave us the news... hanya Allah shj yg tau perasaan kami sekeluarga.. arwah mak was announced meninggal (diff for me to say 'dead') at 5.32pm.. we held on to abah, takut dia rebah.. imagine a 72yo man trying to fight tears.. sedih sgt2... bila nurses dh cabut suma tubes n wires, kitorg 1 family dibawa masuk (including the kids)... masa tu abah held on to arwah mak's face put his head next to hers and cried... betapa kasih dan sayangnya seorg suami kepada isteri of 47 years... kitorg biar je abah nangis.. after that yg lain suma cium pipi arwah mak before jenazah dibawa turun...

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abah kata nk mak balik umah dulu.. 'bagi mak balik umah buat kali terakhir' dia kata.. dipendekkan cite, jenazah mak smpai umah dlm kul 9lebih-10 sbb van jenazah agak lewat smpai.. jenazah arwah mak was never left alone... ada shj abah @ anak @ cucu @ adik beradik @ anak2 buah arwah mak yg mengaji sepanjang mlm.. seriously ckp, masa tu mcm xpercaya.. mcm ssh nk terima.. otak mcm weng.. btol ke mak aku dh takda... btol ke aku dh jd anak yatim... btol ke aku xkan dgr suara mak lg... btol ke aku xkn nmpk kelibat mak lg kt dapur... tp sesungguhnya aku redha Ya Allah... sekurang2nya dia sdh tidak menderita sakit..

esoknya kami 4 beradik sama2 membantu memandikan jenazah dan sama2 membantu mengkafankan jenazah... bersih bercahayanya Ya Allah... tnh perkuburan terletak di dpn kampung.. teramatlah dkt.. (semasa hidup, arwah mak mmg minta jika meninggal dia nk dikuburkan disitu.. katanya senang abah nk ziarah n abah xlupa kt dia)... dlm sekitar kul 12 jenazah mak slamat disemadikan... Alhamdulillah semuanya berjalan dgn mudah dan lancar.. semoga roh mak tenang di sana.. Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku, tempatkanlah ibuku dikalangan org2 yg beriman dan jauhkanla ibuku dari seksaanMu Ya Allah..

pada yg masih ada ibu atau bapa... sayangilah mereka selagi terdaya... hormatilah mereka dan besyukur atas kasih sayang yg telah mereka limpahkan.. berterima kasih atas ssh payah dan bebelan mereka.. u'll never know when the day comes where u'll be missing their voice..

we miss u and will always miss u... love u and will carry ur strength till the day i die.. Al-Fatihah..

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"185. Tiap-tiap yang berjiwa akan merasakan mati. Dan sesungguhnya pada hari kiamat sajalah disempurnakan pahalamu. Barangsiapa dijauhkan dari neraka dan dimasukkan ke dalam surga, maka sungguh ia telah beruntung. Kehidupan dunia itu tidak lain hanyalah kesenangan yang memperdayakan. (Ali Imran)"

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

RALAT PD ENTRY 'ANAK-ANAK SYURGA'

Salam,

ada a few corrections yg perlu aku buat pada entry 'Anak-Anak Syurga' yg aku post recently...

i) Nama arwah anak enal yg perempuan tu bukan Balqis Zulaikha tetapi Batrisyia Zulaikha (enal kata diorg panggil dia Tisya)..

ii) Nama anak enal yang lelaki (anak yang no. 2) ejaan bukan Afif Raeys tp Afeef Raees..

*maaf ye enal atas kesilapan2 ni... n tq sbb sudi baca blog aku... semoga arwah Aisy Hasif dan arwah Batrisyia Zulaikha berada ditempat terbaik disisiNya <-- ayat ni aku copy dr sms ko, enal.. harap ko xkisah.. hehe...

Al-Fatihah..

Friday, May 18, 2012

anak-anak syurga

Salam,

entry kali ini sgt pjg..(plz bear with me).. luahan hati seorg kwn utk kwnnya yg kehilangan insan2 tersyg..

entry kali ini aku dedikasikan atas pemergian insan2 tersayang kepada kawan aku yg bernama Zainal Abidin bin Mohamad Atan.. aku n enal dh berkwn sejak zaman degree di UiTM smpaila skang dh sama2 JKR.. dia class rep yg sgt berdedikasi tp otak bole gila2 juga la.. enal (as friends call him) pada aku adalah seorang bapa dan suami yang sangat tabah... namun bukan kita yg melalui so sedih yg kita rasa sgtlah jauh dari apa yg dia serta keluarganya rasa.. mesti ada yang tertanya2, apa yg jadi ni??? i don't really know the whole story but i'll just tell wht i now.. enal if u happen to be reading this, do correct me if i'm wrong eh bro..kisahnya mcm ni...

enal serta isteri dikurniakan 3 org cahaya mata.. 2 org lelaki dan yg kecik tu perempuan.. 3 minggu yg lalu, 27/4/2012, anak sulungnya bernama Aisy Hasif telah menemui penciptanya pada usia yg sgt muda.. Inalillah... hanya 3 thn 2 bulan... arwah Aisy sbnrnya bertarung dengan kanser (kalo x silap) and it has been a looong journey for all of them... pada usia yg muda, arwah terpaksa melalui kemoterapi dlm usaha untuk sembuh.. ada satu ketika, arwah seperti telah mula pulih tapi jika telah tertulis dan dijanjikan oleh Maha Pencipta maka itulah yg akan terjadi... aku telah menerima sms drpd enal pada jam 2.36am 28/4/2012 memberitahu tentang pemergian anak sulungnya tu... aku hanya mampu memberikan ucapan takziah dan berharap dia akan tabah dan redha atas ketentuan ini..

weeks went by and based on post2 enal dl FB aku dpt rasakan yang enal sudah tenang dan redha... dh mula moving forward n dh mula cite2 pasal bola (hehehe.. :D).. tapi setelah 3 minggu berlalu, lagi satu ujian Allah telah enal dan isterinya hadapi.. anak perempuannya yang baru berusia 2bulan 22 hari pula telah kembali ke rahmatullah... pemergiannya adalah pada 16.5.2012 (Rabu)..Ya Allah besar sungguh dugaan-Mu pada sahabatku ini.. namun Allah xkan turunkan dugaan yg tidak mampu ditanggung oleh umatNya.. aku harap enal dan isteri redha dan tabah menghadapai ujian ini.. aku diberitahu oleh enal, nama anak permpuan dia Balqis Zulaikha (maaf, xpasti ejaan mcmana).. MasyaAllah, sedapnya nama.. diberitahu yg arwah ni meninggal due to lung infection... wife enal kata lung belah kanan tu dh ke tahap bengkak.. kisahnya arwah ni demam n enal+wife bawa baby balqis ke hospital Klang pd mlm 15hb and kena warded.. kalo xsilap enal cite, kahak dh byk berkumpul kt tekak and doktor sedut keluar.. baby tu ada difficulty in breathing sbb lung kanan tu dh byk kahak n kuman, so doktor pasang mask pernafasan... early morning 16hb tu enal hantar baju utk wife dia n trus g keja.. around 11 sumthing wife dia inform yg doktor nk tukar from  mask to tube.. 12ish, wife enal kol kata anak dh kritikal... xterbayang betapa tersentapnya hati seorg ayah mendengar berita mcm tu.. sangkanya hanya demam biasa dan tiba2 dh kritikal...namun around 1.15 adik Balqis telahpun meninggal dunia... Inalillah... enal ada cite, during nk tukar from mask to tube, tiba2 reading suma jatuh... doktor cuba nk revive for abt 35mins sbb diorg pun mcm xpercaya bole jd mcm tu.. namun, ini suma adalah penyebab.. kalo Allah dh katakan begitu, maka begitulah.. xkan kurang atau lebih walau sesaat pun..

berita pemergian anak enal kali ini aku dpt tahu dr FB... tersentap.. baru hari tu enal kebumikan si abang.. kali ni si adik pulak... aku ngan 2 lg kwn ofis pergi menziarah ke umah enal ptg tu (dgn izin bos.. :).. masa tu jenzah xsmpai lg.. xlama lps tu jenazah smpai... MasyaAllah... betapa bersihnya.. betapa tenangnya... betapa gebunya anak kecil ini.. seolah2 sedang dlm lena yg sgt nyenyak... Alhamdulillah segala urusan berjalan dengan pantas dan teratur.. anak kecil itu dimandikan, dikapankan, disolatkan di surau seksyen 9 shah alam dan dikebumikan di tanah perkuburan seksyen 21.. arwah kecil ini telah selamat dikebumikan disebelah kubur abangnya yang masih basah...

masa kt umah enal sebelum tu (waktu jenazah baru smpai) kitorg tdgr dia b'ckp ngan seorang makcik sebelah kitorg.. dia kata pemergian anaknya yg kali ini mmg sgt2 xdisangka..sebelum ni masa dia menziarah kubur arwah Aisy utk mengkambus lg tanah, dia akan bw 1 cangkul besar dan 1 cangkul kecik.. pastu dia kata, xsangka yg cangkul kecik ni utk adik.. dia ckp lagi, 'sy tau yg Allah sayangkan anak sy'(pastu dia sebak)... masa tu kitorg bertiga dh xtahan sgt dh... menangis masa tu juga...

to enal n wife, harap sabar dan redha dengan dugaan Allah ini... ingat, korg ada lagi sorg anak Afif Raeys (maaf, takut salah eja)... curahkanla kasih syg pd dia dan semoga korg akan tabah menghadapai soalan2 Raeys bertanyakan kemana abang dan adiknya.. tabah ye kwn, my prayers go out to u n ur family... korg skarang adalah ibubapa pada anak-anak syurga... they will be waiting for u dengan muka yg berseri-seri... keep that as ur strength.. semoga roh adik Aisy n adik Balqis tenang di sana... Al-Fatihah..

i guess thats it.. thx for reading.. Assalam..



Thursday, April 26, 2012

Al-kisaaaaahhh....

alo..alo.. is the mic on??? hehehehe...


walawehhhh... lama bangat x hupdate blog nih...


4 months into the year of 2012.. lama tu juga la aku x 'naiktarikh'kan blog aku ni.. smpai dh rasa kekok lak nk menaip ni.. gigil jari2 dobot nk menaip nih... wahahahaha...


ekceli, macam2 cite selama 4 bulan nih... tp yg paling penting.. of cozes la birthday aku... yeay!!! tp dh lopeh bulan 3 aritu... yg bestnya ujung bulan 3 tu, mak n abah sponsor 1 familiy (excluding along n family sbb xdpt blk kg) duk kt ilham resort PD... manyak syok wooo.... benda free mmgla terkinja2 sronoknya kan.. jgn nk tipu diri sndri.. kalo dh sengih sorg2 tu mmg stuju la kan.. hehehehe...


my sis siap buat banner lagi sbb bukanla celebrate bday aku sorg..(xdapek jack kalo aku sorg je bday smpai parents nk sponsor 1 famili holiday kan.. huhu) ..bulan 3 ni ada 3 family members punya bday.. 1 cucu kesygn, 1 anak kesygn n lastly me.. nmpk sgt my place dlm famili kan... huahuahua...


hmmm... apa lagi ek nk story.. tadi ckp mcm kencang konon byk sgt cite tp tetiba rasa mcm xde apa lg nk cite dh... gila sedey life aku nih... huhuhu...


oh ye.. kisah sedih pulak.. last saturday (21.4.2012) housemate aku telah kehilangan ayahnya.. Inalillah.. ayah dia dh mmg sakit n terlantar di hospital for almost 2 months.. i got a call from her abt 7 minutes after her father passed. to cut things short, aku yg mmg odw nk blk kg (hulu selangor) telah tidak smpt jejak kaki ke kg ptg tu sbb kwn2 dh tgu kt tol tg.malim sbb nk pergi ziarah.. we headed for ipoh from tg. malim around 6.45pm.. sampai umah kwn tu dlm 9 lebih (8 lebih dh smpai kwsn perumahan tp sesat barat cr jalan umah dia.. huhuhu... fail...) lps ziarah n borak2 kejap kami meminta izin pulang.. masa tu dh nk dkt kul 11 mlm.. 


cdgan asal, member2 nk anta aku blk kg n then diorg trus shoot blk kg.. tp dh muka masing2 mcm garfield pakai tudung.. diorg pun tumpang tido umah aku kt kg.. kul 1 pg smpai.. mujur bukan aku yg drive.. ngehngehngeh.. skali skala ajak member dtg umah lepak2 pun sronok juga.. hehehe..


pe lagi ek..
oh ye ...
last but not least....








duit tunggakan dh dapat... yeay!!!!
syukuuuur.. :D

Friday, December 30, 2011

unwell

Salam,

my mum is unwell, physically and spiritually..

To all, harap doakan my mum..

Thx

Friday, December 2, 2011

it has been a while

hai olls...

lama gilak x update.. hapa nk jadi nih.. ini namanya terlebih rajin buat keja nih.. huahuahua.. perasan much..

so to cut things short, things that have happened to me since my last entry.. in random order (wah mcm nk umum top 5 miss world lak.. kikiki.):

1. early october - finally, my status as contract worker has shifted to permanent (after 2yrs 9 mths).. alhamdulillah

2. november -
- keja.. keja.. keja.. g bintulu beli belacan.. hahaha..
- smpt bersosoal kejap.. g tony romas with shuk n nadia (guna groupon) super save, super awesome, super full (in d stomach)...


i guess thats about it... hahahaha.. so lame....... where the hell is my social life.. oh ye.. this month, satu famili akan buat family day (InsyaAllah), so hopefully i'll have the inner strength to update on that later.. 1st time nk buat family day so kinda excited.. will also update on our family day tshirts which i co-created.. supercute.. hahaha..

so i've finally updated my blog, so wat to do now?
hmmmmm...... i'll get back to u in a few weeks time then.. hehehe..

Monday, September 19, 2011

21st century people..

Assalam..

blogsurfing today.. came upon a very interesting entry from a blogger ( i assume she's a young adult).. entry ni pun actually was posted by her tahun lps lagi tp it still applies..

bila baca entry tu it kinda hit a nerve.. it got me thinking.. btol juga cakap dia ni..

cuba baca disini ... and judge for urself.. sama2la kita renungkan samada btol ke x..terkena batang idung sndri ka x.. hehehe...

so, to tuan punya blog.. TQ for ur insight.. everyone has their own opinion kan..

renung2kan uols..

cekidaout.. peace out.. Wassalam..